Crazy ER stories

This is insane. I think it's mostly medical residents posting on the forum.
Crazy ER stories.

For example:

Doc: What meds are you on?
Pt: Peanut butter balls.
Doc: What?
Pt: Peanut butter balls! Peanut butter balls, for my seizures!
Doc: Do you mean phenobarbital?

Doc: Have you had any other illnesses?
Pt: Just smiling mighty Jesus.
Doc: You mean you've never been sick before?
Pt: (Looks at Doc like she's crazy) Oh no, I was REALLY sick with that smiling mighty Jesus!
.... she had had spinal meningitis.

When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c "gas pains", you should run around the department loudly yelling, "I don't know what y'all did or who that baby is, but my lil' girl warn't pregnant when she come in here"